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Ballad of Weird Romeo
(A Shitkicker's Nightmare)

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Weird Romeo
He was greasy and horny and strange
And he had wished he had joined the rodeo
And he dreamed about riding the range
And the world loved to watch him spit on the ground
And denounce the president
And shove it into some hail Mary Grace
And cause an incident
A hero's hero, and a heroine's thief
Cracking jokes and mescal worms in his teeth
Weird Romeo
We loved you so

Cold cream Maureen
She was looking for something to start
So she cleaned up his bathroom and changed his sheets
And opened his shirt and ate out his heart
And on that night the dogs all over town set up a sickening howl
And sniffed at the empty footprints
Where Romeo used to prowl
And all the world's wild horses for all the world's life
Could not scrape her off with a knife
Weird Romeo
We loved you so

Well you snored like a bog in midsummer
And my heart waved adios
And the station was jammed with well-wishers
Waving from coast to coast
Romeo adios, Romeo adios
Weird Romeo,
We loved you so


Music & Lyrics © 1975 Sarah Kernochan